So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
