Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
i black out too much to be "responsible"
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
