Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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