$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.