i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
