stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
i think i just lost a toe
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
