i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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