Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
