I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
