How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
and she was petting her beer can
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
