I wish I could teleport
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
If I die, sorry about rent.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
