he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
