East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
