he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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