I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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