How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
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Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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