I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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