so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
