Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
