Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
