I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
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