Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
