what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
