Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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