could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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