wat bout pragnant strippers??
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
