I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
