I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
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Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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