I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
