oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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