But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
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I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
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Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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