i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
