im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I just googled if crying burns calories
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
