fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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