am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
