He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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