I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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