just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
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I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
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Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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