I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
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