you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
