I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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