wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
