I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I just found a bag of teeth...
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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