i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize