She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
God, you're like boner-b-gone
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
