if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
