3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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