do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
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Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
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I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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