is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i just had sex bonerless
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
