Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
