I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
