your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Randomize