Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
