I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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