I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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