Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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