That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize