id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
