What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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