angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
