does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
