If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
MIDGETS
????
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
