The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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