WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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