He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
