Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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