i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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